What was I thinking?!

Challenged and gratefully happy - this is how I am feeling since yesterday's conversation. A normal evening with the kids: playtime, bathtime (well, shower time because there are no baths here), Bible time, and bedtime. During the typical routine of the day, a bright spot appeared. A moment that will be remembered for years to come. The sorrowful furrowed brows of our oldest daughter approaching Corey that gave rise to his attention.

Corey: "What's the matter, Sweetheart?"

Catelyn: "I have to tell you something that I did today, Daddy."

"Ok..."

"When Mommy told me to clean up my toys and put my dishes away and brush my teeth, I did something bad..."

"Yes..."

(Tears began to fill our daughter's eyes and her lower lip began to quiver)

"I don't like doing all those things, and so I thought of bad words. Words that are not good words."

"Like what, Honey? What words were you thinking" Wondering the worst...and where she would have heard the words.

"I was thinking, 'I HATE this!' I wanted to say that to Mommy, but I didn't, because it was bad. I'm so sorry." (Tears flowing like rain now.)

Wow. My daughter understood so much more than we do at times. She recognized that even though she didn't verbalize what she was thinking, it was still residing there within her heart. "For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart...I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgement." -Matthew 12:34 & 35. Within her was rising an anger that wanted to explode out of her mouth. She knew that it wasn't good; that it wasn't of God. She felt the guilt of even thinking something that she felt was wrong! So much so, she chose to confess it. What an example of desiring purity of heart. We, as adults, easily get caught up in (and accustomed to) the age-old lie: because its not a visible sin, then it's not that bad, and so we ignore it...and ignore it the next time...and the next time...until it is normal...and sadly, then becomes accepted.

Oh, that I would be that sensitive to my thoughts. That I would consistently "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:5. That I would hate my sin so much so, that when I entertain a sinful thought that I would be uncomfortable and convicted and quickly repent - just as my daughter did yesterday.

Yesterday was a wonderful teaching opportunity for her (and us!), in that we encouraged her that the Spirit of God is who stirred in her the sadness over her impulsive thought. That it was a good thing that it bothered her and she didn't just ignore it. We also got the opportunity to praise her in allowing the Holy Spirit to bear the fruit of self-control in that situation (Galatians 5:22). That even though she thought an angry thought, she stopped it there and didn't act on it! What an incredible victory for a 5-year-old! For this, we took the time to praise God and rejoice in the working of God within her.

I'm thankful to be a mom. Not only because I've been blessed with two adorably precious little girls (which is reason enough!), but that through this wonderful role that I've been given, I receive first-hand lessons from God through the eyes and life of my children. Over and over again, the simple stories and truths of Scripture are displayed before me in living color (as it was yesterday). For this my heart is truly thankful. In my job as mom, I get to snuggle my hug-able and kiss-able little girls AND learn more about my faithful and loving Father in the process...what could be better?! Oh yes...I know!...I get to do all this with my amazing husband as well! God is good.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4:8