Why So Quiet?

Many people have asked me why I haven't posted much to my blog over the past year. {I am humbled and thankful that there are people who even noticed!} The answer is somewhat elusive and vague, yet honest. So here goes...

I am wanting to live a quieter and smaller life. 

Quiet, yet loud. Small, yet big. Intentional. Courageous. Genuine. 

"Make it your ambition to live a quiet life..." 1 Thessalonians 4:11a

There are so many voices in this world. So many opinions {both that are helpful, as well as those that are hurtful}. There are plenty of writers that are far better than I, and there are those who exhort far more effectively than I can. So who am I? Where do I fit in? Is my voice actually needed? What can I contribute that hasn't already been said...and said better? Do I want to add to the already overwhelming amount of material available to the masses?

And because these thoughts bounce around in my head, I have remained mostly silent. 

The truth is, I want my quiet life to speak far more loudly than my words. To be sure, words are important and necessary {I love words!}, but so is a life of faithfulness..."I will show you my faith by my works." James 2:18

When I speak {or type}, I want my words to be fewer and more carefully placed. To be seasoned with grace. To be worth something. Whether they be spoken to one soul, or to countless online.

And when I act, I want to be fully present where I am at and in what I am doing. I want to serve well, speak well, think well, and love well...even if no one else ever hears about it or sees an Instagram of it. I want each plate that I serve to be done unto the Lord; as though God Himself were my guest. I want each person who finds themselves within my home to feel the welcoming embrace that only Jesus could offer. I want each conversation I have to be filled with the wisdom and peace of Christ. 

And so that is where I have been spending most of my time. Whiling away the hours on the porch with beautiful neighborhood faces. Indulging in deep conversations over soothing cups of tea. Inviting people into our home with the purpose of them being refreshed and encouraged. Visiting the sick in the hospital. Praying for the hurting. 

Living quietly. Yet loving loudly.

Enjoying and engaging real life outside the virtual one that I so easily get caught up in.

There is so much noise online. It entices and sucks me in; distracting my heart from the quiet life that it so longs for. {Am I the only one?} I certainly don't want to add more noise into the world...nor into my heart. And so more thoughts arise...Is my blog simply more noise that distracts? Or is it a spring of refreshment that points others to the Fountain of Living Water? That allows people to hear the still small voice of the Lord and inspires them to respond? Oh, how I pray for the latter!

So, yes, I still want to write. To speak of God and His love and grace and glory. {I love Him and love to talk about Him!} But, please be patient with me, as I am working through finding a good and healthy balance between being online and being fully present here. Between living small, yet loving big. Between speaking of His greatness online and sharing His love tangibly offline. I want to do both well, if possible.

"So whether you eat or drink or {choose how you spend your time}, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31 [with my addition]

O Lord, please help me honor you with the time You give. Help my love to be both loud and quiet, both big and small. And for my words, whether much or little, to be of benefit to those who hear. Show me how to do this. All for Your glory and praise, Jesus. Amen.