She wasn't even listening to what her mother was trying to explain. It didn't matter at that point. Her desires and thoughts had already been established and weren't about to be moved. She didn't have the ears to hear. She didn't display the wisdom of being "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19.
Frustration began to arise in my heart. I am her mother, she needs to simply obey when I tell her something! This isn't a discussion! Frustration mounting more as the
battle discussion continued. This is just ridiculous! She needs to stop right this minute and just do what I told her! She is not to be arguing with me - I am the parent! Inside I was teetering upon a tightrope of sinful anger.
Then it dawned on me.
There are times that I am this child! This little girl who is so stubbornly blinded by her desires that she doesn't even want to listen to wisdom. When I want something so badly that I can't even hear my Father's kind voice telling me His thoughts on the matter. Nor recognize His gentle leading toward the direction that He desires me to go. Sometimes I'm so consumed with what I want, that rather than being "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," I am more slow to listen and quick to talk and quick to become angry. At that point, my thoughts become more focused on the how to get what I want, rather than the seeking God as to His thoughts on it. This is all backwards!
Being the planner that I am, my mind likes to quickly jump at a fun idea and "run with it" in my mind. So, I need to train my mind and heart to be quicker - quicker to listen and slower to react. Quicker to seek God's leading and slower to infuse mine. I must first seek His thoughts on the matter, and then, if appropriate, continue on to the how.
Once again, I'm thankful for God's gift of allowing me to be a parent, as He continually uses my dear little ones as instruments of grace and refinement in my own life. Now, together, my daughter and I can learn how to become quicker...to the glory of God.