Too Asleep to Notice

6:00am. Are you kidding me?

To say that I am not a morning person is quite an understatement. I would much rather stay up later and sleep in than to go to bed sooner and wake up early. My morning wake-up process is a bit more involved {drawn out} than my husband's get-up-with-an-instant-smile. 

But lately, I have been feeling the Spirit's prodding to be more disciplined with my time...particularly my sleeping time. To show more self-control as to how much sleep I get and when I get it - to actually get enough that I am the cheerful, warm and pleasant wife and mom I want to be in the morning. To consider how my attitude {from lack of sufficient sleep} might effect others. "Do nothing from selfishness...do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:3,4. This has been a life-long issue...again...{pointing to myself} never been a morning person...ever.

But, because I love the Lord and my family, I have been turning off all the distractions at 10:00pm {sometimes 10:30pm}, and going to sleep.

My eyes slowly open. I stretch. I feel rested...refreshed. I look at the clock - 6:00am. What?! Did I actually just wake up on my own at 6:00am...happily?! Not to the sound of kids laughing and running around in the other room? I smile. Reaching over to grab my Bible and open it up...in quiet.

After a little while, I quietly walk into the living room to find my husband reading on the couch, as he does each morning. I sit down in the chair, so as not to disturb his normal routine. He looks up with a surprised smile. He gently sets down his book and we enjoy talking together {uninterrupted} as the early morning sun sweeps across the living room floor.

About fifteen minutes later, my oldest daughter, with sleep still in her eyes, emerges from her room. Her eyes look up and find me. Oh how I wish I could accurately describe the joy I saw in her big beautiful brown eyes. "You're awake!" she bursts. That moment is priceless to me. Sadly, at this moment, I realize that I have missed so many mornings like this with this precious girl. 

She immediately climbs up into my lap and lays her head on my shoulder. My little girl.

Then, my youngest makes her way into the living room. Our eyes meet and a huge smile sweeps across her face. "Good morning, Mommy!" She runs to me with arms wide open.

I look over at my husband, who is smiling contently at all of his girls in the beautiful morning light. And I realize, I have been selfish for so long. Wanting the gift of sleeping in. Wanting a long night's rest and to be able to wake up peacefully and on my own time. Yet, all the while, I was totally oblivious to the gift that I was passing up each and every morning. The blessing of greeting my husband and children in the calm golden sunlight of the morning. Being able to start the day ready to love and serve them. Enjoying the moments of peaceful conversation with my husband before the busyness of the day began. 

A few hours into our day, my oldest, sitting next to me in the school room, as though she had been thinking about it for a while, sweetly asks, "Mommy...can you wake up early again tomorrow?" Tears filling my eyes, as I begin to realize how much my presence in the morning means to her. "Yes, Sweetie. I will. Because I love you." 

I have just learned another way that I can minister to my daughter's heart...and it is so simple: be ready and waiting to hold her when she wakes up in the morning. My simply being there makes a difference. 

I am thankful my Father does the same for me each and every morning. Because He loves me.